Hip Bones

Trying so hard to not start tracking again. All that leads to is a dangerous road where I beat myself up for every little thing I eat. Counting every calorie, every carbohydrate, and every gram of fat. Counting every single calorie I burn, and weighing myself as often as possible. Trying to find a difference in myself. Measuring my body, wishing for a change.
The moments when it comes down to purging and fasting. Living off ice and 100 calories a day. Sad part is how easily I can fall into it. How I would be happy having total control over that part of my life.
As much as i feel it would be a bad road for me to go down, it doesn’t necessarily feel like a bad idea. It wouldn’t hurt to get skinny for summer. Who needs boobs and an ass when you can have collar bones and hip bones.?